You are only asked to be REAL

Each of us have little lessons that we learn from our Mum's. One of the lessons my mum passed onto me was the notion that we are not asked to be perfect, only to be REAL. This lesson really struck home for me the other day when I running myself ragged trying to do 20 things perfectly and getting frustrated that none of it was going to plan.

The pressures of our lives can often leave us feeling like we have to be perfect. We might feel like we have to get everything right at work all the time, we have to have a clean house, a green and immaculate garden, a polished car, brilliant and fabulous relationships with everyone, and do all of this in between eating healthily and exercising regularly. And if we don't do all of this we might be unworthy. Unworthy of a promotion, unworthy of praise, even unworthy of acceptance from others.

You've fallen into this trap if you've ever thought:

• I wish I knew the ‘perfect' thing to say
• I wish I had the ‘perfect' job
• I just need the ‘perfect' outfit
• when our renovations are done our house will be ‘perfect'?

Sometimes in our search to be perfect we lose sight of our own uniqueness. Comparing ourselves to others who we think are perfect in some way we can fall into the trap of becoming something we are not. Oscar Wilde summed it up when he said "be yourself, everyone else is taken".
The reality is that we are all human beings and we are all flawed from time to time. It is one thing we have in common. There are times when we are less then perfect, when we lose it, when we make mistakes, when we stuff up, when our homes/cars/clothes are not quite ready for "House and Garden" to pop in for a photo shoot.

Instead of seeing these moments as ‘imperfections' that we have to change the reality is that these moments are what make us REAL as fellow human beings. People connect with others when they are real, humble and human. It is one of the things that unites us all.

Remember that you are not asked to be PERFECT but just to be REAL.

Best wishes,

Darren & Alison

Newfeeling day

Get a Newfeeling

On our fridge we have a postcard with the following question on it, a question I’d invite you to reflect on yourself:

'When was the last time you did something for the first time?'

Can you remember what it was? And when it was?

More importantly, can you remember what it felt like doing that new thing? Maybe it was exciting, thrilling, mixed emotions with a bit of apprehension, or even downright fear? This experience of doing something new, of doing something outside of your comfort zone often creates a range of emotions within us. Sometimes we avoid doing these things because we connect these emotions with words like ‘fear’, ‘uncertainty’, ‘apprehension’.

Rather than being held back from doing something new, something tough, or something you have been putting off for a long time because it was easier to stay in your comfort zone, one of the strategies suggested by Thought Leader Marty Wilson, is for us to change how we talk to ourselves about this new event.

Change the language and you change the feeling.

You see Marty Wilson is a stand up comic. As a comic does, they face nerves and worries each before they go on stage. Rather than talk about being ‘sh#t scared’ (as Marty so eloquently puts it) he started to re-label the feeling of nerves or apprehension to him experiencing a ‘new feeling’.

By changing the language he was able to better accept this response and still go out and deliver a great set. Marty’s eagerness to encourage individuals to step outside of their comfort zones has lead him to be the founder of “Newfeeling Day”.

“Newfeeling Day” was held on 1st September. I realise that we are sending this out after this date, but I passionately feel that it is an invaluable reminder of how important it is to be stretching yourself, stepping out of your comfort zone, and making sure that your language is not the one and only thing that is holding you back.

Get a newfeeling and maybe when you are next asked ‘when was the last time you did something for the first time’ your answer will be 'Just this morning'!!

Take the plunge,

Darren & Alison